A View of this World...

I feel funny, for being in this world..,
Itś busy, chaotic, and cruel..
Am a child, strangled in this 'busyńess'...!
Helplessly looking around....Holding back the tears, out of fear..!
Once in a while...somebody sympathizes and moves on....They brush away my stretched arms...
I fear everybody...everything.
Wiping off the drops trickles down my cheeks..,
I understand, that they are in a rush..To make their life colorful..., To make this world beautiful..
I understand..and move aside..
I heard some great words...love..care..affection...What do they mean..?
I heard some really bad words...selfishness..egoistic...
But I wonder..how the meaning got interchanged..? Love for selfishness....care for egoistic..?
May be am wrong...am a child..,not meant to comprehend this complex emotions..
Am withdrawing in to my solitude...Pledging not to harm...not to disturb anyone's emotions..
By the way, isn´t it funny to be in solitude in this world..?

But there is One...they call him God...
He usually play chess, I feel..This world is His board..and He plays hard..
For the sake of....?
So..I got my share of movements...
Even though i don´t want to hurt anyone...,I will be forced to give my share of pain to others....
You know? Choices are made in heaven..
And I will receive my share of pain....,and I know ..i should be content with it..
Thatś how the system works..
For whom..?
Nest of loneliness beckons me...

Am growing up....Chewing this experiences...
And it makes me think, how others feel, and the life becomes rather difficult...
For Instance,
I can feel like a mother...
The joy and pride she had, When her little baby snuggles against her chest,
And a day, woven by the miseries of life..,
When her baby is plucked out of her chest..
Not only leaving her unable to hold the child close to heart..,
But also forced to wave a good bye with a smiling face..
I understand..Tears doesn´t have much of a value in this world..but a smile do..!

Had I grown up enough..? to shed the agonies behind..?
Now ..I feel,and I do, to laugh at Him, the chess player..!
Nothing to pray and nothing to seek...
For, He knows everything..and He is the answer..
Am I more childish now..? then am growing up...
A wild laugh on the face of this world,
Knowing well...
Inevitably, am laughing at myself....!

S J
Debitum Naturae..